No Matter What
by Bandergeist
Summary: In his intense hatred for Itachi, Sasuke ignores the one thing that he held dearest, and only realizes this when he loses it. SasuNaru. Please read Author's Note inside for some further details.


**Title**: No Matter What  
**Author**: Kyuubi-kun  
**Rating**: PG-13  
**Genre**: Angst, Romance, AU  
**Pairing(s)**: Sasuke/Naruto.  
**Warning(s)**: Eh… none? OOC because its been too damn long since I've acquainted myself with these characters. Oh yeah! Mentions of questionable activity. Yeeeesss. Don't really want to give it away, but if you don't like dark stuff, you probably won't like the mentions that are mentioned.  
**Summary**: In his intense hatred for Itachi, Sasuke ignores the one thing that he held dearest, and only realizes this when he loses it.  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own _Naruto_. I just own what I write. Y'know, my original ideas and all that fun stuff. Oh, and… my couch. Definitely own my couch.  
**Author's Note (PLEASE READ)**: Okay, this will take some explaining, so please bear with me before you review and say "this or that happened, not what you have written" or "the characters did this and that, so there's no way they could do what you've written." I really don't want to hear it. I stopped watching/reading Naruto after the Battle at the Valley of the End. However, this story was already started before I stopped reading/watching, and since I liked the ideas of it, it is based on the characterizations of when these characters were _twelve_, not however old they are now. I do not know anything that happened since the new part started, as I call it, so this is definitely an AU. I don't really read or watch Naruto anymore, mainly because I lost interest. This is just a story that I like, so I decided to finish it. Please take this into consideration when giving your reviews. Thank you.

* * *

_A ring to show love. _

_A promise never meant to be broken. _

"No matter what happens, I'll always love you."

"I'll always be there for you too. I want to be the one who catches you when you fall. I want to be the one to cuddle with you when you're scared."

"I just want to be there for you… with you… forever."

"I know. And with this, we'll always be there for each other. Forever."

"Yes. Forever."

* * *

"I'm not sure if there's anything I can do anymore." 

_Confusion_.

"There must be something, Naruto."

"There is. I'm going to leave."

"What? You can't-"

"Sakura… give this to him. Please. Promise me."

_A letter. A promise. A memory._

"I will. I promise. But, you shouldn't…"

"My mind is made up, Sakura. I'm unable to do anything here. I can't do anything here. I have to leave. It's the best thing I can do."

"But-"

_A handshake_. "Goodbye, Sakura."

_A smile. A wave. _

_A memory._

* * *

A young man sat in his study. He was handsome, with black hair and dark eyes. He was reviewing reports from his underlings, his beloved minions. They weren't exactly his slaves, as most minions are, but as he was an Anbu Captain of the village of Konoha, he was their boss. They looked up to and admired him. 

On his left hand, hung on his ring finger, was a simple golden band. He was married. Happily so, or so he liked to believe when he spoke or thought about his home life. Inscribed on the gold was a vine with two miniature leaves. On one of these leaves was the letter "N" for his husband, Uzumaki Naruto. The blonde, over the years, had been his rival, best friend and, eventually, his lover. On the other leaf was an "S" for his own name, "Uchiha Sasuke."

He had not stared at the ring for a long time. Indeed, this pale man did not so much as glance at it in his work. His darkened irises scanned over the reports from ninja spies. He was on a quest, and so close to finally confronting the man who had destroyed his life.

Naruto had come to him when he was in the dark, too wrapped up in his revenge that he almost killed himself with training. Sasuke was grateful for that boy, now his husband, for coming to him and waking him from his never-ending nightmare. But he was still an avenger. For the past several months, his only goal had been to find and track down the man who had slaughtered his parents and family and left him alone alive. He had to kill that man.

His brother. Uchiha Itachi.

After he killed Itachi, he could move on with his life. He could spend time with his husband and things would go much better for the both of them. He would no longer be an avenger and could readily settle down with Naruto.

He was broken from his reverie by a furious knocking on the door of his office.

"Enter," he called out nonchalantly, not even really glancing up from the reports.

In came Haruno Sakura, the Uchiha's former teammate and friend. She also was the Maid-of-Honor at his and Naruto's wedding. The best man had, to no one's surprise, been their old teacher, Kakashi. He showed up an hour late and got the beating of his life from Naruto. It was a good memory overall, though.

"Sasuke-kun," Sakura began. Her voice was tight and raspy, as she tried to hold back her emotions. After all, a ninja must never show their emotions. The mission comes first and Sakura was here on a mission.

He sensed this and looked up from his notes and reports for the first time. In a second, he took in her appearance, which was not normal in the least. Her normally perfect pink hair was disheveled, her green eyes red from tears that still leaked down her face. Her bottom lip was bleeding from where she must have bitten it. This was all recent. Sasuke could decipher that much.

"Sakura?" he asked. He wanted to know why she was in this kind of state. Sakura was normally very in control of herself, but something had distressed her so much that she was now like this.

"Sasuke-kun… Naruto… he's gone," the girl was sobbed. She breathed in deeply, trying to regain control. Slowly, she held out her hand. "He left this for you. I was told to deliver it."

She shoved the simple white envelope onto the table where Sasuke was sitting. Before he could say another word, she fled the room. Her mission was complete. Now she could go off to mourn in peace.

Sasuke got up, walking over to the door she had left open in her wake, shutting it quietly. He leaned against it for a moment. That was strange. She normally never bothered him at work, and when she did, she would never leave him alone. She always wanted to make sure that he was treating his husband right and then set up plans for a double date with her own husband, Rock Lee. He went back to his desk and sat down, staring at the envelope. There was nothing special about it. Slowly, he brought it closer to him, reading the word that Naruto had scribbled onto it.

"Sasuke."

His name.

Shaking off the foreboding feeling that had settled over his shoulders, he picked up the plain white envelope. He tore it open and unfolded the papers he had pulled out from within. A CD fell out as well, but he ignored it for now.

Before he began to read what was written, his mind berated him with questions. Why had Naruto sent him a letter? Why hadn't his husband just confronted him about whatever this letter contained?

Other questions, half-formed, swirled in his head but he ignored all of them. Shaking his head free of thoughts, Sasuke unfolded his love's message and began to read:

_My Sasuke:_

_I know that you will probably think that I'm making the wrong decision right now. I know I'm probably being selfish with what I am going to do. However, I hope you will understand my choice here._

_We've been married for one year. I still wear my ring everyday and I've never taken it off. I never cared that I can never be the perfect wife or husband for you. I can't ever bear your child. Sometimes, I wonder why you agreed to marry me. I never really questioned your reasons, though. I was happy. I felt I would be happy as long as I had you by my side. I truly believed that. We had so much fun together, Sasuke. We were able to make a life for a while, but it didn't last. _

_Recently, I realized I am not the only person you love. I am not the most special person in your life. There isn't room in your heart for me. All you have room for is revenge against Itachi for what he did to you. I don't understand how your eyes can see nothing. _

_Don't hate me for what I'm about to say. I can only write what I feel. Both of us know that. I can only say what both of us know. We know that Itachi killed you family and left you alone alive. _

_Have you never questioned why he left you alive? You, who was his younger brother and posed the biggest threat? He was your brother, a person that you looked up to and admired. He must have cared for you. He told you to despise him and to live. Maybe he wanted you to despise the Uchiha name. Maybe he wanted you to live without the bindings of the Uchiha that he had to endure. I know you will likely disagree with this, but please understand that what I am writing is only what I believe to be true._

_Sasuke, there is something that I never told you. But I feel I should tell you now that there will not be another chance for me to tell this to you. I don't really know how to say this, but I'll tell you in the best way that I can._

_For about three months during my training with Jiraiya about six months after we started going out, I wasn't with Jiraiya. I was with Akatsuki. I had been captured and detained in a small underground cell. Your brother visited me often. Sometimes he would just stand there, outside the bars. I ignored him at first and he didn't speak either. Then there were times he asked me questions. Some of the questions actually centered on Kyuubi and me, but they were rare. Most of the things he asked me about had to do with you. He always wanted to know if you were happy with life. He always acted like he cared a great deal about you. I only told him the bare minimum. Somehow, though, he found out about us, about how you were dating me. I swear, I didn't tell him that. _

_He was furious. To him, you are most important. He wanted to know what you could be if you forgot about the name Uchiha. But you can never forget it, just like I can never forget that I harbor the Kyuubi no Kitsune in my stomach. It's part of our challenges in life. Therefore, its part of who and what we have become. _

_As I was saying, Itachi was pissed off when he found out that I was your boyfriend. He began to beat me then, day and night. I was given no food and little water to sustain myself on. But Itachi never killed me… never even made it close. He made me wish I was dead, so the tortures would be over, but none of the attacks were lethal. What he did to me could be seen as much worse. I was put through countless tortures but only one of them destroyed me. I was gone from you and Konohagakure for about a year and a half, if I remember correctly. Yet I was training for only six or seven of those months._

_Where did the rest of the time go? I had to get my trust back in people after what Itachi did. I didn't like when people, even those I have trusted for years, got within a certain distance from me. Though I loved you and the others, I couldn't come home until I could get over my fears. I realize that I am being very vague about what happened. You must understand why though. _

_I'm embarrassed. Under different circumstances, I would have been able to defend myself. However, in my condition, I was unable to do even that. All right, enough of my vagueness! I have to tell you what your brother did to me. Itachi tied me down and raped me in the small underground cell._

_It took me three months to get comfortable sitting near people. It took five and a half before anyone could touch me without me nearly breaking down into tears. At eight months, I was able to train again, normally. For a few reasons, we stuck around. Jiraiya gave some weird excuse, but I know it was just because they wanted to know if I was truly over it. In truth, I'm not sure if I am. But you've helped me a lot. I still get nightmares sometimes, but they aren't as bad or as frequent anymore. I'm telling you this because I've realize that you're obsessed with Itachi and Itachi does love you. _

_But you made yourself an avenger, swearing to kill the murderer of your parents. I understood that. I knew you could not let Itachi's wrongs go unpunished. But I do not understand how you can ignore the life around you._

_Yes, you've ignored this life. You don't see anything that's here. You've ignored your friends and your husband. At first, I reasoned that you were just busy with work and then I learned that all you were doing was chasing Itachi. That changed everything for me. That forced me to the see the truth. That taught me something that I would never have wanted to admit, but I'm not stupid enough to ignore it. He is the only one. In other words, I'm not the person you think of when you first wake up or the person you think of last before you sleep. But you're that person for me. You've always been that person for me. You are the only one I think about when the day is through and when the nighttime stars are showing their light. You're the only person I would cry over or laugh with – really laugh with at the beginning, but I'm not enough for you. That place is already reserved for someone else. _

_I accept that now. I understand that maybe we were just a dream. So I'm letting you go. I know that I can't live without you, so there's no point for me to live. This is my choice. I know I wouldn't be able to see you, walking around, hunting for Itachi, or worse… not being mine anymore. You'll be able to find someone new, and I don't want to be hurt every time I would have to see you with that someone. I wouldn't want that. I wouldn't be able to take that. So I'm going away. That way, you don't have to._

_But before I leave, there's still a lot that I want to tell you. _

_I can only hope that in the next life you live, Itachi will not be your brother. I can only hope that the pain you've had to endure in this lifetime will not burden you in the next. If it does, though, then I can only pray to God that in the next life, he grant you better eyes. That way, you might not be blinded by Itachi as you are now. That way, you might be able to see me. _

_I've waited for you through late nights of wondering whether you would come home from work, only to not see you for weeks. When I do see you, though, you're passed out on the couch. I don't disturb you, but you leave before I wake up most of the time. At first, I thought you hated me. When I found out why you were so obsessed with work – with Itachi, I found myself wishing that you had just hated me. At least then, you would be acknowledging my existence. _

_I will wear our ring forever. No matter what comes of this, I'll wait for you._

_All my love to you,_

_Naruto_

Sasuke looked at the papers, hands trembling. What did this mean? What was Naruto telling him about? Where was his husband? He wanted to see his husband and beg an answer of him. He looked at the CD. Should he listen to what was on it? Would it break his heart even more than what he already felt?

Naruto sent it to him, so it must be important. Heavily, he stood up with the CD in hand and crossed the room to the CD player. He placed the CD in carefully and allowed the machine to turn it on as it normally would. The lyrics sang out at the beginning of the song.

It was Naruto's song. They had decided on a song for each of them and one for them together. Sasuke could remember when the two had chosen their songs. It had been back when they had been going out.

_The two were in Sasuke's room, looking through the Uchiha's extensive CD collection for something to listen to. _

_"I've always wanted a song," Naruto commented vaguely as he flipped through a few more cases.. _

_"What do you mean?" Sasuke asked. _

_"Well, y'know in movies and stuff, couples always have a song. I've never had a girlfriend or boyfriend before so… I've never had a song before."_

_Sasuke smiled, hugging his boyfriend tightly to him. No one but Naruto would ever know how much of a touch-driven person he was. He always likes to embrace the blonde. Naruto didn't mind. For his entire life, he had searched and waited for someone who would hug him without cringing. Sasuke had become that someone for him and Naruto was happy because of it._

_Sasuke sat there, Naruto bundled in his arms in the silence of the room. He was trying to think of the perfect song to describe his boyfriend. All of the sudden, he smiled. _

_"I know the perfect song for you love," he murmured. Naruto could feel the vibrations Sasuke's chest made when he spoke. It calmed him, but he still understood what the Uchiha was saying. _

_Curiously, he looked up. "What?" he wanted to know._

_"The Beatles' 'Fool on the Hill'," Sasuke replied almost immediately. _

_Naruto stared at him suspiciously, thinking that Sasuke was calling him an idiot. Sasuke laughed at his love's reaction, knowing exactly what the boy was thinking. _

_"Don't worry. It's nothing like what you're thinking."_

_Naruto had to agree after hearing it for himself. "So what's _our_ song?" he asked. He was pleased he got his own song. After exploring Sasuke's Beatles albums, he had chosen the song __I Want to Hold Your Hand__ for the other. _

_Now the two, listening to a mix CD that Rock Lee had burned for Sasuke, were thinking of their favorite songs in order for them to decide on a song they could call their own._

_"Hey, what's this song?" Naruto asked all of a sudden. _

_Sasuke listened closely to the lyrics. "Billy Idol," he explained after a moment. "It's 'Don't You Forget About Me.' It's a cover of the Simple Minds song. I like this particular version better, but that's just me." _

_Naruto laughed, snuggling back into the warmth of the other boy. _

_"Do you like it, Naruto?" the Uchiha whispered in his ear. _

_Naruto smiled happily, with only joy shining in his eyes. He nodded. Sasuke felt his heart skip when he saw that look from the boy. It melted all of his cold boundaries. This was one of the reasons he had fallen in love with the blonde. His smile. _

_Slowly, he lowered his head and captured the younger's lips with his own. It was their first kiss as a couple. Sasuke was in complete bliss. From that moment, he could only remember the complete euphoria he felt and the song in the background._

Billy Idol's cover of _Don't You Forget About Me_ became their song. They listened to it at every chance they got when they were together while they were going out. Sasuke had even bought Naruto the movie, _The Breakfast Club_, because that song was on at the ending of the movie. It was a good movie anyway, but that song made it even better to the two of them.

Thinking back, though, Sasuke wondered when the last time he and Naruto had listened to that song had been. It was only a little bit after their wedding when he had last heard the song. The Uchiha remembered a lot of things that had gone wrong in his relationship with Naruto, now that he thought about it.

Stray memories, plucked from different parts of Sasuke's brain came back to haunt him and to shove the truth in his face. He had ignored Naruto.

_"Sasuke! Sasuke!"_ _Naruto called. Sasuke had just returned home from a week long mission. "Welcome home!"_

_"Naruto!" Sasuke growled. "Will you stop jumping up and down for a second. I'm tired."_

_A light seemed to disappear from Naruto's gaze. "I'm sorry, Sasuke," he murmured. There was a moment of awkwardness._

_"I'm going to bed," Sasuke declared. _

_"But Sasuke, I made you dinner!" Naruto protested. _

_"I already ate with my team."_

_"Oh, I understand." There was a slight sound of sadness in his tone. Sasuke opened his mouth but Naruto shook his head. "I just remembered I have to go somewhere anyway."_

_The blonde grabbed his jacket and walked outside of the door. Sasuke watched as the door closed. Deciding he wanted a glass of water, he was surprised as soon as he entered the kitchen. A full candlelight dinner was spread on their small wooden table. He knew that Naruto was a horrible cook. This must have taken him hours to make. _

_Shaking his head, Sasuke promised himself to make it up to Naruto tomorrow. _

That tomorrow never came, nor had thousands of others that Sasuke remembered that he had silently promised the blonde. He had always said that he would make up for it tomorrow, but when had he made up for anything that he had done to Naruto?

Only when they were going out had he done anything for the boy. Aside from that, he had done nothing.

Sasuke could hear Naruto's song ending. He sat in silence for a few seconds before his own song, _I Want to Hold Your Hand_, came on. Like _Fool on the Hill_, _I Want To Hold Your Hand_ fit Sasuke almost perfectly. The two of them had treasured these songs for all of the years they had been going out. There was a fourth song that they had, which was _All My Loving _because of the many times they were on separate missions. The two were huge Beatles fanatics.

The Uchiha's thoughts turned to how the two had gotten together. He had liked Naruto for months, maybe even years, as more than a friend. Yet he had patiently stayed as Naruto's teammate so that he wouldn't ruin the precarious relationship after his failed escapade to go off and join Orochimaru.

_Sasuke punched the tree stump angrily. He wanted to destroy this stupid opponent. He wanted to defeat Itachi and hopefully find something to do for the rest of his life. But he couldn't linger on the last part of that thought for too long. He wouldn't stray from his immediate goal. _

_Pain was shooting through his wrists and arms. How long had he been here? It was now dark. He guessed that he must have been here for about five or six hours. A young man of seventeen, Sasuke was still waiting for the day when he would be truly strong: strong enough to defeat Itachi; strong enough to convey his feelings; and strong enough to protect the smile of the one he loved the most. _

_Blood flowed from his fists. Against his ungloved hands, the stump was harsh and brutal, slowly peeling away the skin of his knuckles until all that was left was raw muscle and blood. He sighed to himself as he inspected the injuries. They didn't _hurt_ per say, it was more of an irritating sting that made him look at them. He hated this pain, because it reminded him that he didn't have enough power or endurance to beat Itachi. This pain was evidence of Sasuke's weakness. _

_Gritting his teeth, Sasuke tried to get up, muttering curses in a soft voice at his own weakness. _

_"I wouldn't get up, Sasuke," a voice called. In a blink of an eye, the speaker was now next to Sasuke. The blue irises of his teammate stared down at Sasuke. _

_"What are you doing here?" the Uchiha growled. _

_Naruto smiled, but there was something in his gaze that Sasuke couldn't name: a type of sadness or something of the sort. Thinking back, Naruto had always had that emotion there, but it was cleverly masked by smiles and grins. Why hadn't Sasuke taken the slightest notice of it before? Why was it just now that Sasuke found himself bothered by it?_

_"I've been here for about three hours, bastard," the blonde informed his comrade._

_Sasuke breathed in, trying to calm his nerves. After training, he was always a little crabby. He didn't want to snap at Naruto. _Breathe_, he reminded himself in a commanding tone._

_Naruto pulled something out of his pack. "Give me your hands," he told his rival._

_"I can take care of it myself," Sasuke snapped back._

_"I don't care, bastard," was the other's calm reply. _

_Before Sasuke could detect what Naruto was doing, the boy's hand had shot out and grabbed Sasuke's wrist. He pressed a nerve on the arm that made the limb hang limp. Humming slightly to himself while Sasuke looked at him in anger and surprise, he wrapped the knuckles of his rival's hand._

_Sasuke didn't want this moment to end and he found himself slightly sad when it finally did. As soon as he finished, Naruto sat back on his heels, smiling foolishly at the Uchiha. _

_"There," he exclaimed. "All done." The blonde looked extremely proud of himself. _

_Sasuke found that he couldn't help teasing him. "What's with that look, dumbass?" _

_Naruto glared at him. "Bah, I forgot. You never show appreciation for anything, bastard," the boy murmured softly. "Well, I'd best be getting home. The plants will be expecting me."_

_"Plants?" Sasuke asked with a raised eyebrow. Just what was the idiot going on about now?_

_"Yes. Plants, bastard. I have several houseplants."_

_"You don't seem the type to be able to take care of them."_

_Naruto dropped his grin. "I don't suppose I do," he murmured. He got up, wiping the dirt off his knees._

_"Where are you going, dobe?" Sasuke asked. _

_Naruto rolled his eyes. "I just told you, dumbass," he said. "I'm going home to my plants."_

_Sasuke stared at the other boy. Was there any way to stop the blonde from leaving him?_

_"Hey, dobe!" he called as the other boy began to walk away._

_"What, asshole?" the younger of the two snapped back._

_"I challenge you to a fight."_

_Naruto looked at him over his shoulder. He shook his head. "Not with your hands like that," he told him. "You train anymore tonight and you just might kill yourself."_

_Sasuke shrugged. "It's not like anyone would care if I did."_

_He didn't see Naruto's fist flying towards his face until it was too late. The boy's knuckles connected, sending Sasuke backwards._

_"You are such an idiot!" the boy shouted. "This entire fucking village cares for you and yet you say that no one does. Sakura has been in love with you for years. Kakashi has always favored you. Half of Konoha bows when you walk by and the other half doesn't bow because they have bad backs! You think no one cares? Then you're nothing more than a blind fool."_

Hell, even I care about you_, the blonde thought, but didn't say._

_"Who cares about the entire village?" Sasuke yelled back._

_"I do!" Naruto retorted without even thinking about what he was saying. "You have no idea what its like to have every fucking person hate you because you have a fucking de-" His mind caught up with his mouth and he clasped his hands over his lips to prevent himself from saying anything else._

_"What were you about to say, dobe?" Sasuke wanted to know._

_Naruto shook his head, a bit panicked. "Nothing, nothing. Forget about it. I have to go," he stammered. _

_Sasuke grabbed his friend's arm to prevent him from going anywhere. "Tell me."_

_"I said it's nothing!" Naruto yelled, trying to get his arm back. Sasuke wouldn't let go. "Nothing important."_

_"If you keep denying it, there's obviously something going on."_

_"Let go of me!" Naruto jerked his arm again but to no avail. Even with injured hands, Sasuke had an iron grip._

_Naruto stared at his rival and friend. Sasuke's eyes were looking at him in an intense way. It made him slightly wish that he was far away from this gaze, but he couldn't move. Those eyes effectively trapped him where he was. He felt his knees weaken only a second before he fell to the ground. _

_"Why do you care? All you give a damn about is Itachi," Naruto murmured. "It's always 'I must kill Itachi' or 'I'm an Avenger' or 'I must become stronger' with you. You don't care about me. You probably don't care about anyone other than Itachi."_

_"That's not true, dobe," Sasuke countered immediately. He wanted to tell Naruto how he felt, but he was afraid of ruining the friendship he had worked so hard to restore. _

_"Oh, right, I forgot," the blonde grunted sarcastically. "You also care about yourself."_

_"I care about you too!" Sasuke interrupted. He was sick of seeing Naruto in pain. The boy always seemed to be in pain, no matter how much he tried to hide it. Sasuke didn't want to see that anymore. He wanted to show him that he loved him, cared for him. He wanted to show him that he wasn't alone anymore. _

_He dropped the boy's wrist, startling Naruto. The boy was even more stunned when those strong, pale arms enveloped him in a hug._

_"Don't say I don't care about you," he whispered into the Uzumaki's shoulder. "I… I do care, more than you will ever know."_

_Naruto just sat there comfortably wrapped in Sasuke's embrace. He was stunned, to say the least. Utterly stunned. _

_"Sasuke's saying strange things," he muttered to himself in an awestruck way._

_Sasuke heard him, though. He sighed, a little smirk on his lips. "Oh, take a hint, dobe," he said before kissing the blonde. _

_Naruto's eyes widened. What was Sasuke doing? The Uchiha's eyes were closed. Naruto didn't draw back because he didn't dislike the feeling, but… he wasn't sure what he felt. It was too much to take in all at once. The fact that Sasuke cared… the fact that Sasuke might love him… the fact that Sasuke was _kissing_ him. It was a lot to take in for the poor blonde. _

_After a moment, Sasuke drew back. Naruto blushed and looked away from him, unsure of what to do now. _

_"Naruto…?" the Uchiha asked softly, wondering what was going through the other boy's mind. _

_"I… I…" Naruto stuttered for a second before shaking his head, face beet red. He got up and walked away, trying not to run, but he wasn't running from Sasuke. He was running from himself. Why had it felt good when Sasuke kissed him?_

Sasuke chuckled slightly at the memory. Naruto had avoided him for a week after that before Sasuke finally confronted him. It was a good memory, both of them were, but something pulled him out of his reverie.

He couldn't waste his times remembering stuff now! He couldn't do a thing like that – not when he didn't know what had happened to Naruto. Trips down memory lane could be done later.

He shot out of his office, heading straight to the Hokage Tower where he knew Tsunade would be. Some Anbu tried to stop his mad rampage into the building before recognizing who he was.

They stepped aside for their leader as he barreled down and slammed into the doors to the Hokage's office, bursting them open. Inside, Tsunade sat at her desk, staring at him calmly, as though she was expecting this.

"Hokage-sama!" he said exasperated, staring at her with a multitude of emotions on his face. "I want-"

"Take a seat, Sasuke," she ordered, not caring that she was interrupting him. "But shut the doors before you do. What I am going to tell you is of utmost importance and concerns the both of us very deeply. It is also classified information."

Obediently, he shut the doors and took the seat across from the Hokage's desk. Tsunade stared at him. He saw a few signs of age that showed through her illusion. He supposed that something was making her more tired, more strained that usual and that was why her chakra was not as efficient as it normally was.

"Hokage-sama," he blurted when she didn't say a thing. "Where's Naruto?"

Tsunade sighed heavily. "Before I tell you anything, boy," she snapped, "there are a few things I want you to answer."

Sasuke nodded, wanting to get on with it. He needed to know where Naruto was, wanted to know where his husband could be. He would bring the man back. He would do it. He would have to. Sasuke couldn't live without Naruto. He knew he couldn't. Why did it take until now for him to realize such a thing! Why? Dammit! He was such a moron! He was such an idiot.

"Pay attention, Uchiha," Tsunade barked. Meekly, he looked at the lady. She wanted to ask him some questions. He could deal with that. Nervous, he fidgeted with his wedding band for a few moments before she spoke. When she did speak, she had his entire attention.

"How long have you and Naruto been married?" she wanted to know. She would start out with the easy questions. That was best. Much better than rushing in. She needed time to calm down as well, despite what her outer appearance showed.

Sasuke stared at her in a puzzled manner before replying, "We've been married a little less than a year and a half." He stared at the leader, both curious and afraid of the reason why she was asking that question. Surely she knew. After all, she had been there. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

Tsunade was the one that conducted the ceremony, being the Hokage and all. On top of that, he was like a son to her, so she should at least remember his wedding day!

Sasuke might have found her question amusing if it weren't for the fact that his husband was missing.

Tsunade stared at him. That had been answered accurately enough. Now she could move onto the more pressing matters.

"Do you love him?" was her inquiry.

Sasuke stared at her for a moment, wondering what she could mean. Of course he loved Naruto. That's why he had married him. "Yes," he finally answered. "I wouldn't have married him if I didn't."

Tsunade nodded sagely, contemplating what to ask the man next. "So, if you loved him, please tell me why you ignored him for the better part of your marriage."

Sasuke looked dumbstruck. How to answer that? He didn't know! He just wanted his husband here. He just wanted his Naruto here. Naruto had saved his life many a time, and he wanted him here to save his sanity once again.

"Sasuke?" Tsunade prompted.

Sasuke stood up, slamming his hands on the Hokage's desk. Tears were welling up in his eyes. That surprised Tsunade. Even when he was faced with emotional trials, Sasuke was always very in control of himself, even more so than Sakura or Naruto. "Because I'm an idiot," he told the woman before him. "Please… tell me where I can find my husband."

Tsunade folded her hands, her eyes staring into Sasuke's. He was broken over this, which was something she had not expected. Naruto had always come to her, Sakura or Iruka when Sasuke would ignore him, so she was used to hearing about the Uchiha's cold and uncaring attitude. This was a side of Sasuke that probably Naruto had only seen, and she was impressed by it. Not many ninjas would be willing to show their leader such "weakness," as they would call it. She called it strength, but each person's ideals were different.

"I only know his first stop. If you go quickly, you might be able to make it there before him. After all, he left four hours ago," Tsunade said softly.

"Where is he heading?" Sasuke asked eagerly. He would do anything to retrieve his husband right now.

"Sunagakure. To see Gaara."

"I'm going to find him."

"Good luck."

Sasuke nodded and ran out of her office. He knew that he had to make the packing light and that he had to do it fast. He pulled together his normal mission pack and then ran across the rooftops towards the gate of the village.

Now came the hard part. He could guess which road Naruto had taken, but all he could hope for was that he stumbled upon the blonde before he reached Sunagakure.

* * *

The first day into his travels revealed no hint for Naruto's whereabouts. Even though the blonde only had a small lead on him, he was wonderful at covering his tracks. 

The second day yielded the same.

It was the third day that Sasuke would find the footsteps in the road. Obviously Naruto was in more of a hurry right now if he wasn't covering himself as well as normal. He might have sensed Sasuke behind him. It wasn't unheard of. After Naruto had grown out of his arrogant, "I-can-take-on-the-world" stage, he became quite good at the various arts of the ninja.

Sasuke sighed and sped up, no longer focused on overcoming Naruto on the road, but focusing rather on getting to Sunagakure first.

He swore, every day, that he would find the man. He wanted his husband, he wanted to know why his husband hadn't talked with him. That would have to wait until he found his love.

Right now, he needed to focus. So he flew the trees, gaining on Sunagakure with every step.

It was another two days before he reached the Hidden Village of the Sand. Those few footprints on the third day were all that Naruto had left behind. Sasuke had used his chakra to speed him up, like Kakashi had taught them when they were genin. He needed to find his husband.

_Gaara,_ he thought, _where's Gaara?_

He remembered that there were rumors of the boy being made the Kazekage within the past six months, so he checked the palace first. He made his way quickly there, surprised to see a brilliant flash of blonde hair on one of the balconies, talking to a pale redhead.

Sasuke smiled.

Finally.

He had found Naruto.

The Anbu captain breathed a sigh of relief, but he didn't know how to get his love's attention. He put his hands in his pocket, content to just stare at his lover when his right hand brushed the letter in his pocket.

He smiled sadly as he watched the two. Naruto laughed and Gaara offered him a tiny smile in return. He didn't know if he should go back to Naruto. He loved the boy, he did, but what was to stop him from making the same mistakes as before?

He didn't know. Even though he loved Naruto, Sasuke was still an avenger. He still needed to kill Itachi. And not just for what Itachi had done to his younger brother, but for what he had done to the blonde.

Hot anger coursed through him as he remembered the letter. Itachi was going to pay, he knew that. He knew it – but it moved to the back of his mind as he stared at Naruto. The blonde seemed happy here, but there was something missing.

Sasuke had watched him for years before he had had the courage that one day in training to finally tell him. He had watched him, and it was almost like Naruto was back being the sixteen-year old misfit who had no idea what he wanted, with the exception of acceptance.

It was like they had moved back in time. Sasuke chewed his lip.

"What do you want?" one of the jounin guarding the doors of the palace asked. Sasuke looked at him, breaking his contact with Naruto for the first time. He seemed vaguely familiar, but then again, Sand and Leaf had been allies for years, so it was quite possible that Sasuke had seen him before.

"Just looking for someone," he answered nonchalantly, rubbing his thumb lightly over his wedding ring, which he had never taken off.

The jounin narrowed his eyes. "How can you be sure that this someone you're looking for is here?"

Sasuke shrugged, a tiny smirk on his face. He pointed up, noticing that Naruto and Gaara were still on the balcony. "Because he's right there."

The jounin flushed before stuttering something out, which Sasuke couldn't hear because he was once again focused on Naruto. This time, the blonde was staring right back at him, surprise evident on his face.

Naruto stumbled back from the edge of the balcony, out of Sasuke's sight. Gaara stared angrily down at the Uchiha-Uzumaki. Sasuke could do nothing but stare back just as fiercely, silently ordering the Kazekage to allow him to see his husband.

The redhead made no movement to acknowledge the silent demand or ignore it. Instead, he kept up the stare for a couple of seconds before he slowly inclined his head, just a little, to acknowledge.

That was all Sasuke needed. He shouldered past the jounin that was acting as a doorman and into the palace. He needed to find his husband, after all… and from the look on Naruto's face, the man wasn't going to stay around for long.

He pushed his way up to the top of the tower, bent on finding his husband. He was actually rather surprised that no one tried to stop him on his way to the top floor of the tower. However, his luck couldn't last that long. Standing in the hallway of the top floor was none other than Gaara of the Sand.

Sasuke stood silently, staring down the redhead, trying to figure out what he could say in order to get the Kazukage to move out of the way.

"Gaara…"

"Do not speak," the redhead growled.

Sasuke fell silent, not quite knowing how to respond.

"What are you here for?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "I would have thought that one obvious. My husband."

Gaara allowed a soft smirk to cross his face. "And what makes you think your husband wants to see _you_?"

Sasuke clenched his teeth. "It doesn't matter! I need to see him, just to… to apologise for being… me."

Gaara stepped back. "Is that okay with you, Naruto?"

From the room to the left of where they were standing, the blonde emerged. "Yes…" his soft voice said. "That's… please, Gaara, if I could…"

Gaara nodded. Without another word, he walked past Sasuke and began descending the stairs. Those two needed to work out whatever was their problems, and he did not like getting himself involved in relationships.

Sasuke and Naruto stared at each other, both trying to figure out something to say, both not being able to find the words. The silence stretched between them, growing with anxiety and tension until finally Sasuke snapped.

"Naruto," he whispered, falling to his knees. "I'm sorry."

The blonde blinked at his husband. "What?"

"I said I'm sorry. I thought… Itachi..." Why was this so hard to get out? What made him so inept at communicating all of a sudden with his husband, the man he loved above all else?

Naruto did not speak a word, but Sasuke could see his love's eyes hardened at the mention of his big brother. Sasuke fumbled over his words for a moment before continuing on, in a whisper.

"I wanted to destroy him, so that we… we could live safely. I wanted to get vengeance." He paused. "I… I didn't realize that I was… was ignoring you. I didn't mean to! I'm sorry." He buried his hands in his hair, fisting the locks as he tried to keep his emotions under control. He looked up at his husband, a lost, hopeless look in his eyes. "There isn't anything else I can say. I'm so very sorry for what I've done, but… I can't do anything to fix it, unless… unless you'll let me in."

Naruto stared at Sasuke. He was going over everything in his mind. He wasn't sure he could trust Sasuke not to do what he had done again, but he wanted so much to give it another chance, to live with his husband. Sasuke seemed sincere enough in his words, but Naruto had long ago stopped trusting the words of anyone. It was actions that mattered, and always would be, but…

Slowly, the blond ninja walked over to his husband, sitting on the ground in front of him.

"Do you promise that you won't… won't forget me again?" he asked slowly.

Sasuke looked up at him, reaching for Naruto's hands. He clasped them firmly, reveling in the mere touch of his husband. "Dobe, I could never forget you." He pulled Naruto close, wrapping his arms around the man. "Never."

Naruto smiled as he felt himself encased in the hug that he longed for. Without hesitation, he lifted his arms up, fiercely hugging his husband.

The two stayed like that for a long while, and no one has ever been quite sure how long it was, until they were interrupted by the Kazekage.

"You two have made up," he said neutrally.

The married couple looked up at him, a faint blush could be seen on Naruto's face while Sasuke scowled.

"Y-Yeah," Naruto said.

Gaara gave a curt nod. "Good."

Naruto's blush became a much darker red. "Gaara," he growled warningly.

The Kazekage merely smirked. "Would you two like a room here or will you be going back to Konohagakure?" he asked, ignoring the blonde's warning.

Sasuke looked at his husband. "It's your choice, love," he said.

Naruto smiled softly. "We'll stay here for the night," was his response. With a small "hut" he jumped to his feet. Sasuke rose next to him, grabbing Naruto's hand, and not wanting to let go.

Gaara nodded. "Follow me, then."

Three floors down, there was a guest room. It was here that Gaara led them, opening the door so they could see the spacious, luxurious room that held two chairs, a queen-sized bed, a few tables, a bookshelf, and a few other things that the two Leaf shinobi didn't really pay attention too.

"Call me if you need anything," he whispered as he closed the door.

Sasuke turned to Naruto, biting his lip. He hated awkward moments, but he had a feeling that he would be getting his fair share of them soon.

"So…" Naruto began.

"So…?" Sasuke countered, albeit lamely. The two descended into speechlessness once again. Sasuke looked at the floor, trying to figure out was he was going.

"Why did…" Naruto began. He sighed, not quite sure if he wanted to ask the question.

"Go on," Sasuke whispered.

"Why did you chase Itachi like… this, obsessively?"

Sasuke blew out a breath he had not realized he had been holding. "Because I wanted it to be over," he explained softly. "I wanted to move on with my life, but I can't do that as long as Itachi's there."

"Why can't you? I thought you realized that you had more."

Sasuke blushed, ashamed. "I wasn't sure…"

Naruto gritted his teeth and lashed out, his hand coming in contact with Sasuke's cheek harder than either of them expected. Sasuke reeled back with the force of the blow, staring up at his seething husband with surprise.

"Wasn't sure?" Naruto said. "WASN'T SURE?" He grabbed the front of Sasuke's shirt, lifting the other up so their faces were close. "You're _married_, for crying out loud and you _weren't sure?_ What kind of moron are you?"

"I…"

"I don't want to hear any excuses."

Sasuke gritted his teeth together. "Then hear the truth!" he yelled. "I wanted to be with you, but as long as I had_him_ over my head, I couldn't do it! I wanted to! God, did I want to… I just don't know how!"

"What?" Naruto puzzled.

"I don't know how! I don't know… I don't know…"

"Sasuke…"

Sasuke disentangled himself from the blonde, sitting down on the ground once again, his hands folded nervously. "I don't know if I'll be better if you come back, I could promise you I would be, but I'm not sure," he murmured. "I promised you a lot of tomorrows that I never gave. How do you know I won't do that again? How can anyone know?"

Naruto smiled at Sasuke, a soft smile that held far more in its meaning than any words can tell. However, one of the things that Sasuke could see was he love that guided Naruto, the love he held within him and held onto no matter what happened.

Naruto shrugged. "I don't. You don't. We don't. That's not what matters."

"What?"

"I love you. Wouldn't have married you if I didn't. Wouldn't have gone out with you if I didn't feel something. Sure, I used to hate your guts. Doesn't really matter in the end. We're here, Sasuke. You and me. Next step is simple. Do we go back or do I continue on?"

Sasuke glared up at him, a detemined gleam in his eye. "No matter where you go, I _will_ find you."

"Then it's settled."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Settled."

"Tomorrow morning, we go home."

Sasuke smiled, grabbing his husband and pulling him into a tight embrace. "I love you, Naruto," he whispered into the blonde's ear.

The blonde chuckled, a large grin on his face as he heard those words. "Its been too long since you've said that, Sasuke."

"I'll say it everyday from now on, I promise."

"I'll hold you to that."

* * *

_Kyuubi-kun's Korner! _

_Yeah, craptacular ending. The last part had a bit too much sap for me, and it kind of seemed rushed, but it wrote itself, I had no part in it. Honestly! Except not really. It started off as an idea three or four years ago, and then grew into this mess. If I look closely enough, I can even see how my writing style has changed through the years based on this fic alone, which is ultimately creepy. (shrugs)_

_Anyway, I just figured that people who liked my Naruto fanfiction in the past would enjoy the last Naruto fiction I ever wrote, especially since its taken me so long to write it. I actually like it. Who knows why? Maybe because its somewhat different from almost everything else that I've bothered to write. I don't know. Of course, it still retained the dark bits that I think I've become somewhat wellknown for. Me, write a happy fanfic? Preposterous! (hides all of his happy fanfiction)._

_In many ways, I kind of want to apologise for the lateness of this fanfiction. I mean, I gave an off promise about one more SasuNaru one shot three years ago and now I'm finally getting around to putting it out there. (laughs) Man, that's kind of embarrassing. _

_Well, I hope you all enjoyed it. I fear that if I continue on, I'll never stop, so I'm going to stop. Right now. _

_(grins)_


End file.
